Finally family

By Jessica D.Matthews 06/19/2002 Mike Cummings leafs through a packet of information about adoptions from Kazakhstan, Guatemala and Vietnam. A few days earlier, he and his wife, Wendy, learned adoptions were indefinitely suspended from Cambodia while officials investigated an illegal baby-buying scam. For nearly four months, the Scranton couple had their hearts set on adopting a baby girl from that southeast Asian country. The news was the latest uphill climb on an emotional roller coaster. For eight years, they had spent nearly $20,000 in failed infertility treatments and unsuccessful attempts to adopt a baby in the United States. Their heartache immeasurable. Yet, they clung to a simple dream -- to make a family. Just when their dream seemed close enough to touch, they are told to pick another country. If only it was that easy. Both Wendy and Mike had already fallen in love with the daughter they had yet to meet who was waiting for them in Cambodia. This latest news devastated, especially Wendy. "I'm going to quit soon," she tells Mike in a flat tone. "I don't know how much more I can take." The dream is still alive Mike understands all too well the pain and desperation she feels. He too was sure this Cambodia adoption would take place. It had felt so right. But he needs to be their pillar of strength. "You can't quit," he tells his wife firmly. "We've come too far." And now, he needs to show her their dream is still very much alive. Kazakhstan and Vietnam seem like good options, he thinks as he reads up on adoption policies. They can get a baby as young as 6 months in Kazakhstan and one as young as 4 months in Vietnam. Vietnam is risky, he tells Wendy. The Immigration and Naturalization Service has already announced that it may shut down adoptions in Vietnam, just like Cambodia, to investigate suspected illegal adoption practices. "Let's just see what information we can get about it," he says. Mike calls the agency they used for their adoption in Cambodia. Officials give him two phone numbers -- one for the adoption facilitator who handles Kazakhstan adoptions and the other for a facilitator of Vietnam adoptions. The couple sits in their living room with the Vietnam facilitator, Patrick Howard, on their speaker phone. They learn Mr. Howard is with World Child International Adoption Agency, located in Silver Spring, Md. It has been in operation since 1981. "I have two infants up for adoption in Vietnam," he tells them. "Adoptions are fairly stable in Vietnam right now. April 1 is the cutoff date when it might shut down there. But there are no problems for couples who start their adoption paperwork before April 1." Since they have already received INS approval to adopt internationally, their paperwork should be minimal, he tells them. They must fill out a form to change countries from Cambodia to Vietnam. They will also have to amend their home study to say Vietnam instead of Cambodia. Adoptions from Vietnam require two trips to the country, he explains. The first trip is five to seven days. It's a formality to drop off paperwork, meet with Vietnamese officials and briefly visit the baby at the orphanage, he tells them. The second trip lasts about two weeks while the adoption is finalized. The adoption will cost about $20,000, including airfares and hotels. "If you amend your home study next week, you can be over there by the second or third week of March," he says. Wendy is floored. That's just a few weeks away, she says to Mike in disbelief. They had learned from the Kazakhstan adoption facilitator that it would take longer to get the couple to that Eastern European country to adopt a baby. "What do you want to do?" Mike asks her. She smiles. "Let's go to Vietnam." It's a boy Mr. Howard tells the couple he will soon let them know the sex of the baby and send photographs. "It feels like I'm pregnant because we don't know the sex of the baby," she tells Mike excitedly. "God has opened another door." Her blue eyes sparkle again, a smile plastered on her face. Mike gets their paperwork for Vietnam in order and sends it overnight to Mr. Howard. The couple learns they will adopt their infant from an orphanage in Lang Son -- a village in northern Vietnam, about 10 miles from the China border. "It's sinking in that this is my child," Wendy laughs. "I can't wait to hold her or him." She touches Mike's arm. "You've been so amazing through all this," she says tenderly. "You've been on top of everything." A few days later, there is a surprise in their e-mail -- four photographs. "We've got a son," cries Mike, as they look at the pictures and hug. "Thank you, God," Wendy says, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Look at his little fingers and his cute nose," she continues. "He's perfect. Our son is just perfect. I can't believe he's ours. I love him so much." She takes her finger to her lips, kisses it and then touches his lips on the computer screen. His name is Hoang Trung Anh. They will call him Andrew Michael Cummings. Drew, for short. He was born Dec. 9, 2001. There is also a doctor's report in the e-mail that says Drew is healthy. The Cummings will need to take the report and pictures to a local pediatrician to confirm their baby is fine. At another Scranton house a few blocks away, there are red, swollen eyes and big, wide smiles. Mike, Wendy and Wendy's parents, Sylvia and Leonard Zubrickas, have gathered at the house owned by Mike's parents, Dorothy and James Cummings. "I can't wait to get my hands on him," Mrs. Zubrickas says, laughing, as she holds up a picture of Drew that Mike had printed. "Look how cute he is!" Drew's pictures are already framed and on display in both his grandparents' living rooms. The grandparents are planning his future -- baseball games, dirt bike rides, shopping trips. "He's going to be smart," says Mrs. Cummings. "You can tell by the expression on his face." The couple prints more photos. The next day, Wendy shares them with her math students and fellow teachers at Old Forge School District. Mike proudly shows them to his co-workers at the Lackawanna County Stadium, where he is the director of public relations for the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Red Barons. They pack and plan for their first trip to Vietnam to visit their son and get the adoption started. As is customary in Vietnamese adoptions, they must bring gifts to the orphanage, their baby's caretaker and other Vietnamese officials involved in the adoption. The gifts are items such as ties, wallets, watches and T-shirts. 20 hours of flying Their flight is scheduled for March 17 and they will return a week later. It will be 20 hours of flying plus more than six hours of layovers before they arrive in Hanoi, Vietnam's capital. It is the couple's first time traveling abroad. When they arrive in Hanoi, they e-mail home with updates on the trip. They get just 45 minutes to spend with their son after traveling another 2 hours by van to the orphanage. They meet Drew's nanny, Lem, and through a translator they learn about Drew's sleeping and eating patterns. In Vietnamese orphanages, one nanny is assigned to each baby. Following the visit, they meet with the Vietnamese Justice Department, where they are interviewed. They learn that Drew's mother is unmarried and 25 years old. She lives with her family, who are rice farmers. They cannot afford to keep the baby. There is no information about the father. They also learn that the mother will attend the Giving and Receiving Ceremony in Vietnam. The ceremony is a Vietnamese formality to adopt a child. The first trip goes well but it is tortuous to leave Drew behind. "I wanted to grab Andrew out of the nanny's arms," Wendy says, a few days after they return home. "He smiled when I held him. I felt like a part of my heart was tore out when we left him." The thought of returning to bring Drew home keeps the couple going. They check regularly to make sure adoptions will not be stopped in Vietnam. They buy clothing and baby items for their son. Wendy finds the perfect outfit for the Giving and Receiving Ceremony -- equipped with a tiny clip-on tie and sandals. They order baby furniture and turn the guest room into a nursery -- a baseball Snoopy theme, just like they had planned years ago when they tried to have a child on their own. They impatiently wait for a phone call from Mr. Howard to learn when they can return to Vietnam for Drew. Almost two months after their first trip to Vietnam, the phone rings. "We're leaving in a week," Mike says, after hanging up the phone with Mr. Howard. Destination: parenthood The flight lands in Hanoi on Mother's Day. The Cummings pray there are no holdups. In Vietnam, there is no structure. Business is conducted when officials want and anything can hold the process up. Two days later, they and three other couples from throughout the United States are taken by van to the orphanage. The van turns onto a dirt road tucked between hills and high mountains in the province of Lang Son. On both sides of the road, there are wooden shacks transformed into makeshift homes, eateries that resemble soup kitchens and stores with no customers. Chickens peck at crumbs as the van passes. The poverty is hard to miss. Women sit on the sides of the road peddling fresh fruit, meat and grains of rice from nearby farms that they brought to the village in woven baskets balanced on a stick across their shoulders. Children -- no older than 7 -- beg for handouts. Education is a privilege few can afford in the Communist country of 78 million, where the average annual salary is about $350. The orphanage is up the road. It is rundown -- chipped paint, rusted gates and piles of metal and trash. Barefoot children lurk behind doors watching the group of Americans emerge from their van. The adopting parents are ushered into a small room to wait. "They are dressing the children," says Liem, the group's translator and facilitator in Vietnam. 'There he is' When the first baby is brought out -- a 7-month-old girl going home to Buffalo, N.Y., with her new dad, Wendy and Mike can no longer sit still. They wait outside in the sweltering 98-degree heat for the nanny to bring them Drew. "Oh my God," Wendy cries, when she sees her son. "There he is." Mike cradles the infant tightly in his arms, partly out of fear that the moment is not really the end of their long, winding ride. He can't stop staring at his face. Two bright black-saucer eyes, rosy cheeks, a bottom tooth starting to push through tender gum. His son. He's holding his son. Their son. He looks at Wendy, but her eyes are glued to their baby. Tears stain her cheeks. Her eyes water again. He reaches out and touches her arm. "This is our son. OUR son. Can you believe, this is our son?" Drew smiles and gurgles. "It's like he knows we're his parents and we're taking him home," Wendy says. Drew's nanny, Lem, is by his side. She is a grandmotherly type who claps and makes clicking noises with her tongue when the baby starts to fuss. She has taken care of him for the past five months. Although she speaks no English, it is easy to see her emotions fluctuating between sadness at saying goodbye to the baby and happiness that he has found a home. With the help of a translator, she fills the couple in on Drew's napping routine, type of formula and other care. Giving and Receiving Then, the couples, children and nannies are taken to the District Justice office, in Lang Son, where they will be interviewed and have the Giving and Receiving Ceremony. The office is part of Vietnam's Social Justice Department, which oversees adoptions and child welfare. The birth mothers are already there waiting to meet the adoptive parents in a room with green and red velvet curtains and a white bust of Ho Chi Minh -- Vietnam's communist leader during the war between North and South Vietnam. "I'm not sure I want to meet her," Mike says nervously. "What if she changes her mind?" Liem introduces the couple to the young woman. She looks as nervous as they are, shifting uncomfortably in her chair. Wendy hands Drew to her. Her face lights up and she smiles at the baby. She talks to him in Vietnamese. Later, her father and sister will join them. Through a translator, she asks Wendy and Mike if they will write to her regularly about Drew and send pictures. They agree. In Vietnamese adoptions, the couple must also agree to write letters and send photos to the District Justice office until the child turns 18. The young woman hands Wendy a letter and photographs of her family with Drew -- taken two days ago at the orphanage. The letter, translated for the Cummings, thanks them for adopting her child and giving him a life in America. The ceremony begins with a speech from the Vietnamese officials about the couples' responsibilities as adopting parents. Wendy and Mike are asked to sign numerous documents, as is the birth mother. Wendy addresses the directors of the District Justice office. "You have made our dreams come true," she tells them. That night in their hotel room, the couple sits on their bed. Drew is lying on his back between them, playing with a stuffed animal. Wendy plays peekaboo with a blanket. He is laughing. It won't be until 2 a.m. the next morning that it sinks in: They are now parents. Drew wakes up crying. Wendy sits him in her lap and feeds him a bottle. She looks down at him, so dependent on her. She starts to cry. Their dream has finally come true. They, and the other couples, still have a few more steps to take in Vietnam before the adoption is finalized. They must fly nearly three hours south to Ho Chi Minh City -- formerly known as Saigon -- and have Drew examined by a doctor. Then, they must have an embassy interview, apply for a passport for the baby and get Drew's visa to exit the country. On the streets in Hanoi, and in the airport at Ho Chi Minh City, strangers stop Wendy and Mike to look at and touch Drew. They think it is wonderful that the Vietnamese baby is going to live in America. Vietnam has become more popular among Americans seeking to adopt internationally. Last year, Americans adopted 737 children from Vietnam. "You are a lucky baby," one woman says in broken English as she touches Drew's cheek. In Ho Chi Minh City, there are two new translators and facilitators -- Nancy and Martin, as they are introduced to the adopting parents -- who will handle the final stages in the adoption. A van takes the couples to a gated complex that is considered the country's most sophisticated hospital. Patients lie on gurneys outside. One woman gets her head stitched up at a table set up near a flowering tree. Wendy, Mike and Drew are escorted up a set of stairs. A doctor who speaks English and was trained in the United States examines the baby with a stethoscope. That, and the weighing and measuring of the infant, are the extent of the medical examination. "He looks good," the doctor says. "He is very healthy." After the appointment, they are taken to have Drew photographed for his visa. Home sweet home By Monday, May 20, Drew's paperwork is completed and the Cummings are more than ready to return home. They switch their flights and are greeted by swarms of relatives when they arrive in Philadelphia a few days later. That night, they take Drew up to his room for bed. Wendy gently lays him in the crib. She looks down at her son. Her heart is full with a happiness she only dreamed of feeling eight years ago when she and Mike first tried to start a family. Their journey had been long and took them far from Scranton. Now, it all makes sense. All the pain and suffering was necessary to lead them to Andrew. He is their reason for being. He always was. Their home is no longer empty. ©Scranton Times Tribune 2002 Reader Opinions    Name: momof 4 Date: Jun, 19 2002 From reading the series it appears that the CUmings family tried to adopt domestically, but failed. It also appears that they were only interested in adopting a Caucasian or light skinned infant. A child of this description is not a waiting child. I have four internationally adopted children. All my boys were adopted at an older age. Before we decided to adopt internationally we looked at domestic adoption. As first time parents we did not feel that we could handle some of the problems that the local children had. Now that we have more experience we might look to the domestic adoption on an older special needs child.      Name: Betty Newcomb Date: Jun, 19 2002 Very Good I never thought the times had such a good HEART to write such a good story.   Questions or comments? Contact Us Click here for home delivery of The Times-Tribune Read our Privacy Policy News | Sports | Obits | Opinion | Business Delivery problems | Place an ad | Letters to the editor Copyright © 1995 - 2002 PowerOne Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Back to top  NEXT PAGE